Curlers. (hoping to go out to dinner later)
Scarf. (matches absolutely nothing -- used to keep hair out of eyes)
Eyebrows. (need to be plucked, but tweezers are lost)
False Eyelashes. (an impulse purchase from a Merle Norman moonlight sale)
Earrings (clamp-ons, if any, because pierced holes healed shut)
Bra Strap. (shows because purse weighs 18 pounds)
Skin. (rough and dry)
Watch. (lost it and husband refuses to buy another)
Ring. (took it off to wash hands -- hasn't seen it since)
Nails. (polish on some, picked off others)
Overweight. (twenty-five to thirty-five pounds)
Shoulder Bag. (contains: several illegible bank deposit slips, one earring, Happy Meal characters from McDonalds, ticket stubs, pennies, gum and candy wrappers, several credit card receipts, insurance company pens that don't write, Fisher Price people, emery board (without sand), pretty rock, business card (from Home Show), smooshed Milk Duds, hair spray (16-ounce can), dry cleaner's claim ticket (for clothes already picked up and signed for when ticket could not be found), yucky lipstick (one of the kids twisted it while the cap was on). No cash, No wallet, No checkbook, No car keys)
Underwear. (may be wearing husband's jockey shorts)
Hands. (beg for attention but show abuse)
Polyester snags. (loves cats)
Safety pin. (holds hem in place)
Toenails. (painted weeks ago for a trip to the beach. Since they are so far away from the brain, they are rarely thought of)
Thongs. (tasteless plastic)
Purse Clasp broken. (purse opens when she runs)